10,000 Nevers of Supernatural
by Eternal Ending
Summary: Things you should never ever do should you be so lucky as to run into the wonderous characters of our favorite show. If you steer clear of these, maybe you won't get killed with in the first five minuates. K plus just to be safe and for mild language.
1. The first 50

**Disclaimer: No supernatural is sadly not mine. Don't sue, thank you.**

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1. Never kill Uriel the angel just for being a dick

2. Never dress Dean in a clown suit to terrorize Sam

3. Never dress Sam up like a plane for Dean

4. Never tell John to die his hair, no matter how grey it is, he'll use the Colt

5. Never draw on the Impala

6. Never glue yourself to the ceiling while they sleep

7. NEVER try and seek up on any of them unless you have been trained by ninjas

8. Never make fun of Ruby's new body being man-ish

9. Never call Sam the Puppy-Dog-Eyed Anti-Christ

10. Never steal Dean's pie, he too will use the Colt

11. Never steal Sam's shoe, he can loose it without your help

12. Never say Bloody Mary in front of a mirror, Sam's eyes bled last time

13. Never call the cops during a hunt, lest they start to believe in real ghosts

14. Never put on any kind of oddly colored contact when around them

15. Never ask tell Sam he needs a hair cut

16. Never ask Dean why the only girl he dated looks like a Wendigo

17. Never burn down their old house in Laurence and blame it on YED

18. Never ask why they killed the people from The Chainsaw Massacre

19. Never put anything in their mouths while their sleeping, no matter how tempting

20. Never tell Sam you killed Sarah

21. Never ask JW why he was barking at the end of Devil's Trap

22. Never smash the Impala into a tree and blame Sam

23. Never tell Sam you really did try the ash tray trick and it worked

24. Never use superglue when around them period

25. Never ask Andy if he is a Jedi

26. Never use that sulfur cologne you bought a while back

27. Never ask Lilith if she wants a teddy bear unless you want to see that glowing white light trick she does

28. Never give Dean any kind of drug, it'll bring up his addiction

29. Never key in the people from Intervention about Sam's powers

30. Never point out just how creepy it is that Dean had the hots for his mom

31. Never ask why no one we see ever wears anything but nightgowns or straight clothes to bed

32. Never try to shut down Busty Asian Beauties. Ever

33. Never start screaming and say that angels are talking

34. Never trick the boys into thinking you are a vampire

35. Never take them to Twilight. All they will do is bitch and moan that that's not how vamps really are. Sam might even comment on how it is nothing like the book.

36. Same goes for Hairy Potter

37. Never accuse Lilith of being a pedophile

38. Never try and remove their possession tattoos

39. Never pretend to be a doctor when one of them it hurt and ask them to take off their shirt

40. Never point out how good Dean would be in the movie industry

41. Or the musical industry

42. Or the Sports industry

43. Never claim Dean has a son

44. Never trick the boys into going to go hunt for dragons

45. Or unicorns

46. Or big foot

47. Never ask Sam if he wants to go sit on Santa's lap

48. Never film the boys and post it on Youtube

49. Never make fun of Dean for screaming like a girl in Yellow Fever

50. Never pretend you see a ghost, it never ends well


	2. At 100 baby

**Disclaimer: No supernatural is sadly not mine. Don't sue, thank you.**

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51. Never leave the trunk open before driving the Impala

52. Hell, never drive the Impala

53. Never think dirty things while Missouri is around

54. Never touch anything that looks sharp

55. Never give Sam a burrito. Not. Good.

56. Never complain about the volume of Dean's music. He'll just turn it up louder.

57. NEVER CALL SAM SAMMY. YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE THE NEXT DAY

58. Never let it slip to Dean that he is not the only one who knows about rock-salt bullets

59. Never use spoilers on them without proper alerts

60. Never try to explain the concept of wincest to either of the boys

61. Or ask them to demonstrate it

62. Never switch out Dean's cassettes for Celine Dion

63. Or any other artists

64. Never ask Sam to sing

65. Never ask if you can go to Metropolis to meet Superman

66. Never put a "kick me" sign on either boy

67. Or a "kiss me" sign

68. Never tell them that you are a demon's rights activist

69. Never paint the Impala pink

70. Never enter JW's car in a monster truck rally

71. Never tell Bobby to shave

72. Never ask to touch Ash's mullet

73. Never ask Ruby to borrow the Super bowl jetpack

74. Never stick red contacts in Sam's eyes to freak-out Dean

75. Never fake a seizure every time they take off their shirts

76. Never steal Sam's laptop

77. Never ask to hold the Colt

78. Never blab something like "pretty colors" when a demon dies

79. Never chuck salt at Sam to ward him off

80. Never call Sam Samuel

81. Or Dean Deanna

82. Never play a chick flick while in the car with them

83. Never ask "are we there yet?"

84. Never compare them to a celebrity

85. Never prank call them

86. Never compare them to the X files

87. Never call Sam emo

88. Never make fun of Dean for the fact that he sounds like a farm boy sometimes

89. Never ask Sam for some Loin Pork

90. Never compare S and D's life to that of Charley the unicorn

91. Never claim the tooth fairy is real

92. Or the Easter bunny

93. Never try to put make up on them while they sleep

94. Never claim Sam's long hair makes him the girl in the relationship

95. Never ask which bathroom Meg used when she possessed Sam

96. Never ask why when a shapeshifter changes shapes it looks like frickin period exploded all over the place

97. Never ask if a werewolf is hungry after eating a heart

98. Never tell Sam the dagger was collapsible in AHBL1 and he should quit being a baby

99. Never say that Rugaru sounds like an exotic Ruben sandwich and ask how many calories Jack is(something I learned in health. Rubens are nasty and calorie packed

100. Never ask to move into Oasis Plains


	3. To 150 and beyond!

**Disclaimer: No supernatural is sadly not mine. Don't sue, thank you.**

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101. Never put the Impala on "Pimp My Ride."

102. Never say Bon Jovi sucks

103. Or Metalica

104. Actually, for sanity's sake, just avoid music talks at all cost...

105. Never trash Dean's leather jacket

106. Never mock Dean's eyebrow thing

107. Or Sam's puppy-dog eyes

108. Never remind Dean to "wear protection"

109. Or Sam

110. Or John

111. Never make fun of the fact that Sam always plays damsel in distress

112. Never steal Dean's pie

113. Never make fun of Sam's singing ability

114. Never show either boy the Supernatural Drinking Game on Youtube

115. Or the Sammy Song

116. Or the bloopers vid

117. Hell, never show any of the boys anything on them on Youtube

118. Actually, don't show them anything on youtube period.

119. On second thought, scratch that. Stay away from computers entirely...

120. Never ask to see Dean's hand-burn just so you can stare at his biceps

121. Never tell the boys that Barney is a demon

122. Never scream in Sam's ear while he's sleeping

123. Never draw on Dean's face while he's asleep and/or hung over

124. Never replace their salt rounds with cocaine

125. Never ask Dean if he wants to go sky diving

126. Never imprison Sam in an iron ring so that Ruby can't get to him

127. Never randomly shoot anyone but maybe Ruby

128. Never glue a whoopi cushion to Dean's butt

129. Never put Nair in Sam's shampoo

130. Never say that Dean has an STD

131. Never tell John that Mary's not dead, she just didn't know how to say she wanted a divorce

132. Never compare Sam's forehead to a billboard

133. Never tell Dean he sounds like a farmer when he gets upset

134. Never tell Sam Dean died...again

135. Never ask Bella if her boyfriend is a vampire

136. Never make Dean sit through a chick flick. He'll used the Colt

137. Or Sam. Unless you want to drown...

138. Never smack Dean and tell him Andy made you do it

139. Never hold Sera Gamble hostage. She'll stop writing...

140. Never ask Dean why he looks at Sam funny sometimes

141. Or vice versa

142. Never try and imitate Dean's eyebrow thing. No one can do it right, not even Sam

143. Never blackmail either boy through his porn obsession. Never. Ends. Well.

144. Never try and sell Sam to a pet store. It's just a puppy-dog look, he's no actual bitch. Well, he is according to Dean...

145. Speaking of that, never try and steal their bitch-jerk thing

146. Never stick Dean's hand in water while he's asleep. He won't wet the bed...well, not exactly...

147. Never tease Sam about his doll obsession

148. Never ask Dean if he wears mascara

149. Never try and proove he does by dumping water on him *it's waterproof*

150. Never invite real monsters to the big Halloween party you are planning


End file.
